Seven Principles of Scientific Presentation (and Life in General)

1.     When in hole, stop digging.

Corollary i.      Learn to recognize a hole from the inside as well as out.

2.     Never laugh at your own jokes – they’re probably not that funny.

Corollary i.      Do not laugh if even you don’t think you’ve been funny.

3.     Say it like you mean it but not like your life depends on it.

Corollary i.      Don’t swallow your own bullshit.

Corollary ii.     You must learn to recognize bullshit.

4.     The audience is not your friend.

Corollary i.      Leave yourself an out and cover your ass.

5.     Keep it simple – because, everyone would probably rather be some place else.

6.     Remember, it’s all just theatre.

Corollary i.      Assume a GAFO (giving a flying one) imbalance: Make the audience care.

7.     It never hurts to actually know what you are talking about.

Right about now, Stephen Covey is quaking in his boots.